There was a heaven and there was a drifting ocean and a god and goddess stood on a rainbow bridgea moved the water with a jeweled spear. Then a drop of water fell down and made the first land ever. Soon after this one of them died. Then the god went to the land of the death to beg for her return. He broke a tooth out of his comb to light the way. The light revealed the goddess to find her rotting away . It was to late to save her.
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January 21, 2015 at 9:52 am
Marcel,
You have taken on the tone of the story well, using adverbs to begin each sentence and deploying a compound sentence structure throughout.
Targets:
Do use character names so that we have a clearer sense of who your characters are.
How does this compare to the other creation stories we have read? Why?